How I Met Melinda Hill

Comedian, actor, writer....social media guru

Still from Melinda Hill’s Amazon Comedy Special “Inappropriate”

Over the past six weeks, I have learned the following about Melinda Hill: she was on America’s Got Talent, she is friends with Margaret Cho, she has a bipolar father, she was invited to do stand-up in Guantanamo Bay (she didn’t go), she was in a Creed music video. I discover these details from her Amazon comedy special “Inappropriate” and from the anecdotes she tells me over Zoom or in voice memos to make me feel better. Each peek into her life leaves me wide-eyed with delight. A tiny gift left for me by a blonde lady Santa.

Melinda first caught my attention at a meeting for artists that I regularly attend. She shared that she’d had an Instagram post about cheaters, dropped on Valentine’s Day, go viral. Yes, that word—not her blonde hair or sweet demeanor—made me do a double take.

When I discovered—several meetings later—that Melinda did social media consulting, I made a mental note to consider hiring her when I had more income. Some months later, my income hadn’t increased but an internal voice told me it was time to let go of my social media frustration and get help. I reached out to Melinda, got a quote for three months of consulting, and sold stock gifted to me by my parents to cover it. As soon as I paid Melinda, fear grabbed hold of me, taking the form of skepticism about Melinda. She was too nice. She must fake. She’d sent me the invoice too quickly. She must see me as a lonely sucker, desperate for fame, whom she can tease money from. This was a mistake.

The next day, when I told my sponsor—also a comedian (or, in her words, a “clown”)—about my plans to work with Melinda, she applauded me and told me Melinda was a friend. I began to relax. My resolve returned. I’d committed to these three months with Melinda; I would see them through. If the experience proved to be a mistake, it was one I could live with.

As homework for our first meeting, Melinda asked me to write my social media vision in the present tense, as if it were already happening. I wrote a paragraph about seeing my social media identity as an extension of my art practice. How it would be vulnerable, inspiring, funny, heartfelt, beautiful, professional, unafraid to take risks or be imperfect, and, occasionally, shocking.

“What are the fears getting in the way of your vision,” Melinda asked me at our first Zoom session, her voice calm as a therapists’. I looked into her eyes, haloed by her blonde hair and green-screen beach background, and cried as I articulated each fear. I’m too old. I don’t have the right constitution. Being on social media will ruin the serenity I’ve worked so hard to achieve over the past eight years. And the big one: I’m doomed to never make it as an artist.

Melinda instructed me to turn off my mic and camera as she led me through a 10-minute visualization. I remember only snippets. Picturing lavender light all around me, protecting me from the judgments of others. Yelling “Fuck that” to my fears. Dancing with my eyes closed as I imagined celebrating with loved ones as we vacationed in Bali. My husband was next door working from home. I could only imagine what witchery he thought was happening on the other side of the wall.

When I sat down and turned my mic and camera back on, I felt an energy shift. A loosening giving way to a nervous system upgrade. After signing off from our meeting—confident that working with Melinda was not only not a mistake, but might change my life—I realized that we’d barely talked about likes, followers, or hashtags. The word “viral” hadn’t been mentioned once.

Next week: how Melinda and I arrived at the below post…

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